It has been a year since i've wrote a decent sized post about myself and everyone around me.
In case it's not noticeable, i've recently gone through a break up. Now.. it wasn't a bad breakup there wasn't any shed drama, not particularly in saying so compared to my previous break ups. Compared to all the ones before, honestly speaking this time around I actually knew it was coming and although I didn't feel too bad... I guess you could say over these last two months i've been a bit different around all my friends before my relationship and i'm striving to change that.
First of all, probably to JP my greatest bud of them all, although we had our up and downs during my relationship with "C" lets just say that he was of great help and assistance. He was probably the only one who didn't talk behind my back, (although i'm not going to assume things) I know many of my friends talk behind my back and although I highly disapprove of it and most of the time when people ask me why i'm cold to them.. well maybe it's coz you were a little bitch. So yeah.. in that sense i've really distanced myself from a few of my original brothers. LS, BH, PT... no use, i don't think i'll ever get close to them.
Second of all, AL; she's the best sister! Only person during my relationship with C who didn't change and let know straightforward the minute she knew what was going through C's mind. Too helpful and yet a bit clumsy and idiotic at times. I don't want to always adhere, consort or even lead her to the right decision every single time but I can't let her stuff up every time either.. so in the end I decided to become genuinely dependable for her at all times. ALthough, I do admit she does frustrate me at times.. her stupidity actually matches mine... oh well! HAHAH funny girl she is though, and maybe that's why we can get along smoothly.. well.. if not, highway like.
Lastly, ET.. -sigh- out of all the people I chose I don't know why I chose you to go to when I had my deepest troubles. And in doing so, I caused a bit of trouble for you.. AND myself. Although I did it unintentionally... one day if you ever do read this text, I really am sorry in every possible way. Not only because of the misunderstanding, but since the day i've met you it's been really hard to keep a calm composure when i'm chatting with you. Your exuberant self makes it so much yet easier to lie down and chat about everything in my heart... Although I do wish, sometimes you'd let yourself go as well and say what's on your mind. At times, I can see that you've got much on your mind to say, yet almost no one to say it to. I'm here bro, i'm here.
2012-2013... (my tumblr post, if you haven't... follow it ;D)
I thought that I might just say Thank You it’s because although the probability is low, i’ve reached and survived another year. I’ve had many challenges, emotions and even obstacles since my last. Battling what seems to be a losing battle with my body and also mind. With that in mind, I just want to say thank you to the following:
Love, because you have taught me well. You’ve shown me that I shouldn’t change myself to be with someone but rather show me that what I need to do is be myself. Simply put, love you’ve screwed me over, made me feel warm and even gave me a feeling of death, but there’s nothing but a learning experience right? Therefore, thank you and also thank you C for having given me that brief period of happiness.
Friendship, because not even the sun and a million stars could shine as brightly as you. I neglected your feelings and became an idiot. You’ll probably read this with a slight inclination to your head, I was sorely an idiot, and yet you accepted my interpretations and oddly enough slapped me in the right path, so… “Remember to breathe as many of our worries, because today will probably not be so important a year from now.”
Memories, you’ve become too accustomed to my life. Yet, why are you finally leaving me? You’ve given me nothing but the utmost care and adventure so far, so please I beg you humbly to stay, court me like old friends from childhood’s wrath… All I see now, are hazes of broken dreams.
And finally, to my Cardiovascular system; please let me truly live happily in my mind and in my heart. Let thy fail in love, friendship and memories but never experiences that dire those from living a complete life.
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